22 January 2013

Your Boyfriend Named Social Media

Why Has Social Media Taken Over?
Screaming kids. A sink full of dishes. Dirty Diapers (yes, plural). Day three of not having an adult conversation (checkout gal at the grocery store doesn't really count nor does the phone call to the Doctor's office to make an appointment realizing full well the awkwardness on the receiving end realizing I'm talking too long and it's very apparent I don't get out much ).   A husband that travels. Children not old enough to discuss the pros/cons of a possible DIY project or why your mother never calls or answers when you call. The ache of wanting to share your Dad's passing with someone that will actually understand. 

Two words. Total Isolation.  The raw loneliness sets in and it's a hard battle. With all this being said, don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVED being a SAHM. I feel very blessed to have the opportunity to spend that time with my kids. I actually did get out and was very involved in playgroups and women's groups. But I was never fully prepared for the type of loneliness I would feel. I'm now a  WAHM and small business owner I think I prefer the W over the S. More on that later. Husbands that work outside of the home have a difficult time grasping our need to just scream sometimes because they engage with adults all day long. When they come home from work they likely want to enjoy some quiet time while you're thinking "oh hooray! An adult....I'm going to tell him every last detail of my day!!!". 

When my older kids were little social media was basically non-existant and certainly not found on your phone. These were the days of texting the old-school way where you hit the 7 key three times to get an S and apps were unheard of. These days I totally get how social media is a form of having a connection to the outside world. I also believe genuine connections can be made with other people through social media (it's not all bad!).  But consider what happens when your Instagram friends know more about your day-to-day happenings than your husband? Or what about when your BFF learns of big news from a Twitter update? Or perhaps you use the F-word a lot and post vague status updates (Facebook).  It happens. I know it does. Maybe my hubby doesn't want to hear about every last detail of my day (I know my Instagram friends don't either!) but I also know there are times where he probably wants to take my phone and chuck it as far as he can. 

Social media is like that special someone that gives you a constant supply of attention. It is like the early stages of a relationship with a boyfriend. I think we need to dig deep and figure out why we need that attention and what we could do in place of desiring that attention.  

How about spending some Unplug for Love time and fill out this worksheet to really get to the meat of why your phone is your new BFF/secret lover. Three-ring punch this baby and start a binder. I am going to take you on a journey with this being phase one.  Here's a hint for phase two- everyone, I mean EVERYONE, has a God-given talent.. 

Click here  for a printable version of the worksheet.  

Unplug for Love has resonated with so many. I want to share a few words with you. 

Social Media and Making Comparisons
The heartfelt emotion on Shawna's blog (here and IG here) really spoke to me. She addresses the issue of how social media can become  a constant means of measuring ourselves. Why do that to yourself? We lose the essence of our own gifts and talents. Here are her words-   
We live in a world filled with social media, filled with conversations without an actual voice, just words, essentially without any commitment, we can do it all...

Lovelies, that is ALOT of stuff to accomplish and all because I put my phone down, well probably not but I can say I spent much more quality time actually living.  I was more aware {every time I reached for my little black device} how much time I've wasted by staring at that little screen.

I try to not compare when I see a photo posted on FB or IG and think "Gee I wish I was invited" or "hmmm, wish I could do that" instead of living my life to the fullest, watering the grass that is on my side of the fence and taking time to sprinkle a little love on my neighbors grass while I'm at it...

It's interesting to me that a book {zee Bible} written thousands of years before any of this technology can still speak directly to the heart of the matter & the mess that the world has created out of all of these outlets. 

 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” Romans 12:2

Social Media and Your Family

I like the point April of Funky Vintage Kitchen Blog (here and IG here) made regarding making the choice to stay off social media from 5-9 pm everyday. April said "It saved our marriage and family...seriously. It was hard because I was growing a handmade business and that was the busiest/best time online. But I knew that business would come and go but family would be here forever....but only for a little while. Best decision ever!"

Is Social Media Hurting Marriages? 
Jennifer (here on IG) sent me an insightful email 
For me, social media has been a blessing and a curse...I have found a group of like minded, strong, Christian women and for that I am thankful! I have found an amazing bible study devotional group (she reads truth). But at a cost... I find myself checking my phone more than ever! (And so has my family/husband) Even during our family time, while I'm making dinner, folding towels, giving my son a bath...I'm checking my phone!! (Not proud) While having our last tiff, my husband threw that out there..."you're more interested in your phone than me!" ...ouch!!:( not at allll true! But my actions were speaking loud and clear....soooooo, that is right when I saw your "unplug for love" badge"! Perfect timing! God's timing? See, these amazing, like minded, Christian women I have found are a blessing!:) thank you for sharing your idea and wisdom! It is up to me to set the boundaries!!:)

So there you have it! Would love to hear your feedback by commenting below or send me an email ( 

Side note- I had attempted a photo-a-day type #unplugforlove challenge a while back and it just became  a big headache. I decided to encourage others in the way that I knew I needed encouragement. Picking a day (or two or three..) to challenge yourself to a digital detox shows your family (your husband!) you care enough to pay attention to THEM (him!). This isn't some rule-filled indoctrination. I challenge you to choose what you know is your weakness (this would be your "vice"). It might not even be social media. Maybe you have a mean Angry Birds addiction or you just. can't. stop. pinning. I know the feeling. The sick and twisted "I'm going to stop when I discover five more amazing pins" deal you make with yourself. Ha! If you want to read Unplug for Love from the beginning see this link

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